Serenity Now!!!

After 3 long years, I'm back!

2008-05-19T03:50:00.000-07:00

Hello. I am almost 100% sure that I am the only person who reads this, but I wanted to get back into writing, so here we go. I'm also trying to get CHUD.com to select me as a regular blogger, and this was the link I gave them. Moving on. What have I been up to in the last 3 years...hmmm, let's see. 2006 was spent mostly in Portland. I worked a shitty job, but went to more concerts than I can remember. I think it was about 20 concerts in the 9 months I lived there. During one of those concerts, I discovered Man Man and have since seen them 5 times. I miss Portland, but my decision to leave there was based on the idea that my friend Brandon and I would be traveling in 2007. In November of '06 we purchased our tickets to Lima, Peru. In January of '07, I gave 11 days notice to my shitty job that I would be traveling for the month of February and had no intention of returning to it. They were unhappy.
South America was basically the highlight of 2007. Both Brandon and myself were not any kind of travelers before that and so it was a pretty big first step. We mostly traveled the southern part of Peru and a little bit of Bolivia. At first it seemed like we made a bad decision, since we were a little freaked out by how different it is down there. After a couple of days though, we got into the groove of things. We saw some cool cities, ate some interesting food, and I got the worst hangover that I've ever had...before or since. Word of advice, a three dollar fifth of rum is that price for a reason. I also didn't shit for an entire week...that was rough. We saw Machu Pichu, which was pretty goddamned amazing. After all was said and done, I was glad to be going home and excited at the prospect of future traveling. Interestingly enough, the one thing I missed the most, was Taco Bell. Pretty sad, I know. But the two Mexican pizzas and nachos I had when I got home were some of the best food I've ever eaten.
Once back from traveling, I was faced with the prospect of being jobless, homeless and without any money (moneyless?). The smart thing to do would have been to move back home, get a job, start hoarding money and eventually move on to bigger better things. What I ended up doing was moving back to Eugene, and sleeping on my friends couch for 3 months. But I eventually got a job as a cashier at a grocery store, which I still currently have, and moved out on my own. The schedule at a grocery store is not terribly consistent and your days are often in the middle of the week, which leads to a lot of alone time while your friends are at work at their normal jobs. With all that alone time I headed out to the theater. Last year was pretty consistent for movies I wanted to see as I almost managed to see a new movie in the theater at least once a week. I saw a lot of stuff, some so-so, some terrible, but mostly good. At the end of ti all, I think Juno was my favorite from last year just because I didn't leave the theater feeling so goddamned drained and beaten from the rest of the sad-bastard movies I saw. There Will Be Blood, No Country, The Mist, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead...while all excellent movies, just left me worn the fuck out. Juno left me with a smile on my face, and that proved to be priceless.
Which brings us to this year. Nothing too exciting has happened yet. The movie year has been mostly shit, aside from Cloverfield and Iron Man, I can't remember anything else I've seen in the theater, though I'm sure there are others. I do have my tickets for Indy IV at midnight this week, but we'll see how that turns out. And, from here on out, there seems to be something coming out every week that I want to see. And see them I will! I'm also in the process of looking into getting a tattoo. We'll see if i have what it takes to go through with it. Other than that, I'm trying, and mostly failing, to save up for a trip to Europe next year. I'll probably just end up selling everything I own and going as far as my money takes me and return jobless, homeless and moneyless. We'll see if I make the wise decision the second time around.

Netflix update!!!

2005-12-18T22:22:00.000-08:00

As usual, I have been slow as shit in updating my Netflix viewings. So here is an update of everything I have watched over the last couple of months.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-I really enjoyed this movie. Mos Def cracked me up, as did Sam Rockwell. Martin Freeman was also a great lead and I hope he gets more leads. This was a fun movie that was very entertaining.

The Blair Witch Project-I hadn't seen this movie in about 7 years and I have to say that it has aged quite well. Still scared the hell out of me and that's what you hope for. I enjoyed it.

Fire in the Sky-BORING!!!

Demon Seed-this movie cracked me up. It was so ridiculous-just the idea of a computer intellingence wanting to, and then actually impregnating a woman is off the wall. I was entertained though, so it did it's job.

Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key
This was a fun little Italian horror movie. It never got as intense as I would have liked it to get, but it was entertaining. I should really stop using the word entertaining to describe every movie, so we'll see how we do with the next one.

Eraserhead-This movie is not in the least bit entertaining. It is slow, it is boring, but you can't take your eyes off of it. David Lynch has crafted himself a beautifully disturbing movie. I have no desire to ever see it again, but I am glad that I finally got around to watching it.

Schizolopis-this movie was weirder than all hell. I wish I had what it took to finish it, but on the particular day I started it, I just didn't have it in me. Maybe I'll watch it all the way through one day.

War of the Worlds-This was a lot better than I expected it to be. Tom Cruise was unlikeable and it was pretty unrelenting in the action. The effects were great and the suspense was intense. It would have been nothing without Spielberg and Cruise, so good thing they were involved.

Living in Oblivion-I loved this movie. Steve Buscemi is great. A funny movie about the making of what looks to be a terrible indie film. Kudos to all involved.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre-this was my second time through the original and I enjoyed it. It's not so much scary as it is just terrifyingly intense and brutal. Once Leatherface starts going, you never get a chance to breathe. This movie holds up extremely well to this day and is still better than 90% of the crappy horror movies out today.

The Specials-this movie was pretty funny. It could have been better, but it was good. I was surprised to laugh at everything Jaime Kennedy said-but it helped that everything he said was generally pretty filthy. While not as good as Mystery Men, which holds a huge place in my heart, it is still a good, silly superhero movie.

Liberty Heights-I was quite impressed with this movie. Ben Foster does a great job as the lead in this quirky coming of age tale set during the 1950's. I loved the James Brown concert scene.

The Ice Storm-I was expecting a lot from this movie. I liked it, but everything I had heard about it made it seem like it was going to be a life changing experience. But any movie with David Krumholtz is automatically going to win by respect.

Unleashed-just finished watching this and I loved it. Great action, great heart, and one crazy ass Bob Hoskins all add up to a great movie. Hooray!!!

That's all I got for now. See you next time!

My Favorites from 2005

2005-12-18T21:39:00.000-08:00

This has been an interesitng year for entertainment. I have gone through some interesing changes throughout much of it-while also sticking by some old favorites. I have seen a number of movies, listened to a good deal of CD's and watched a decent amount of TV. Sadly, I did not read as much as I would have liked to, but what are you going to do? It is with great pleasure that I announce my favorite things from this year.

Movies

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith
I have been looking forward to this movie since the idea of a prequel trilogy first surfaced. I had been looking forward to seeing the events play out ever since it first occured to me to wonder just what the hell happened to Darth Vader. It was a movie that carries the most anticipation ever for a movie. And in my opinion, it lives up that anticipation. Sure, there are some weak moments, but the strengths far outweigh those. Seeing the making of Darth Vader right there on the screen was a joy for me finally see. The first hour of the movie has its problems, but once Anakin finds out just who Palpatine really is, there is not a single flaw in the movie. It is dark and as uncompromising as a Star Wars movie is going to get. I loved this movie and will continue to do so until the day I die.

Batman Begins
I love this movie. It is quite possibly my favorite movie from this year. I say that because this movie has had to grow on me. My first time through it, it didn't do much for me. I enjoyed it, but I didn't leave it with the gitty excitement that I thought I would have. I waited until it came out on DVD to see it again, and upon the second viewing, I was transformed. This is a brilliant movie with superb performances all around. I hate Katie Holmes but she does what she is supposed to quite well. Liam Neeson was great. Michael Caine was great. And Christian Bale is Batman. He has the Bruce Wayne attitude, and he has the Batman attitude. He is the perfect choice. This is a great movie and I cannot wait for the next one.

Good Night and Good Luck
This year belongs to George Clooney, and anyone who says anything otherwise is an idiot. Clooney is a guy who hasn't made a bad movie in about 7 years had easily his best year to date. And this movie is just one of the reasons why. He directs this movie so confidently, and with such passion for the subject that you feel like you are watching these actual events unfold before you. You forget that this movie has a stellar cast, you just think you are watching real people. And everything feels authentic, from sets, to the constant smoking-this movie is alive. Now had Clooney only had this movie under his belt this year, it would still have been an excellent year for him. But throw Syriana into the mix and you have a superb year for one of the best Hollywood has to offer.

Sin City
There was no way I wasn't going to like this movie. I love the Frank Miller books and I love the cast they assembled for this movie. Throw in the fact that this movie looks simply stunning and you have a great great movie. Robert Rodriguez did an excellent job of putting this movie together and sticking so close to the original source material. And having Frank Miller as a co-director ensures that whatever side steps you take away from the source material all have to be approved by Miller, so it just makes the movie that much more seamless. The violence is over the top, the dialogue is solid, and you can tell that every actor on screen is having a blast. This is really the only Robert Rodriguez movie I have liked-his Antonio Banderas movies do nothing for me. I do like From Dusk Till Dawn, but I enjoy it more from a Quentin Tarantino perspective. Sin City was a great action movie and I cannot wait for more of them to come down the line.

MUSIC!!!

The Decemberists-Picaresque
Boy do I love this band. This was the CD that got me into them and I am sure glad that I picked it up. I read a review and the music sounded interesting so I got it. I listened to and I immediately fell in love with. Colin Meloy has such a great voice that was made to sing about pirates and engine drivers and male prostitutes. Every song tells such an interesting story, and complex that it takes a few listens to figure out everything that is going on around it. An excellent CD from an excellent band, and now that they have signed on to Capital Records, it'll be interesting to see what they do next. I for one can't wait.

Wolf Parade-Apologies to the Queen Mary
I just picked this CD up a week ago and I am already so in love with it. I was hooked almost immediately but it has taken listening to it nonstop all week to burn this beautiful music into my mind. I'm not great at writing about music, so all I will say is that I love this CD and I am already looking forward to more music from this great band.

The White Stripes-Get Behind Me Satan
This is almost my least favorite White Stripes album(there 1st album has that honor)but that doesn't mean shit. I love every album of theirs and this one is no different. I love it, I just love their other albums more. The White Stripes are such a great band and I love that they evolve from album to album. They are not content to keep doing the same thing that works-they experiment with styles, they take risks, and in doing so, risk alienating some of their fan base. But they also have the confidence in their risk taking to know that the true fans will follow them anywhere, and I count myself among those ranks. They blew me away this year live and I cannot wait for more albums, more tours and more everything from them. I just love The White Stripes so much.

Gorillaz-Demon Days
I didn't like this album very much upon my initial listens. But it took putting it down for a while and then very recently going back to it. Now I confidently say that I like this one more than their previous effort, which was also fantastic. The music in this album is much better than on the last album, which says a lot. Danger Mouse does a great job producing this album, and I was very hesitant to like his production due to my love of Dan the Automator and what he did on the first album. The beats, the samples, everything comes together perfectly and fits the mood of every song. While I was disappointed at the lack of Del the Funkee Homosapien, the volume of guest stars on this album more than make up for his absence. The standout for me was MF Doom, whom I had never heard previously. His track is brilliant and his rhymes are great. De La Soul does a great job on Feel Good Inc. as well. I really like this album and will always look forward to anything that spills out of the brain of Damon Albarn, be it a Blur album, Gorillaz, or anything else he decides to do.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
I am really glad that I got in on the ground floor with these guys. I love having their indepenently released CD. I love that I have their t-shirt shipped directly from them. Iwll constantly toot the horn of this band and try to get everyone to listen to them. They are definetely not for everyone, but any adventurous music lovers out there are sure to be taken in by this unique band.

Architecture in Helsinki-In Case We Die
This CD is a pure joy from start to finish. This is a band in love with making music and it shows in every song. There is so much fun to be had in this music, and at a time where more and more music seems to be more somber in feeling, it is refreshing to hear fun again. I would have loved to have seen these guys when they came to San Francisco, just to get a sense of the magnitude that an 8 piece band has live. I missed them this last time, but you can bet I won't make that mistake again.

TV
This has been a crummy year for TV. Arrested Development was the only bright spot for me and now that might be no longer, there is no hope left. I have missed most of My Name is Earl, but I look forward to that coming out on DVD so I can give it a watch then. I even have fallen out of love with this season of the OC. But oh well, TV rots your brain anyway.

That's it for now. I have enjoyed this years entertainment and next year promises to be excellent as well. So until then, be well my friends.

The First Annual Star Wars Marathon!!!

2005-11-16T22:15:00.000-08:00

Hello. On Sunday November the 6th, I prepared myself to sit down and watch all 6 Star Wars movies to celebrate Revenge of the Sith coming out on DVD. I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the 13+ hours I spent watching them. And so without further ado, I will now review each movie in order and try and discuss how they fit into each other. So on with the show!

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace(1999)

So obviously this is the most shit on movie in the entire series. From stupid characters, to bad acting, to shitty plot points, the shit is almost deserved. Almost. But there is still some good points in this movie. Sure, Jar Jar is annoying, but if you can get past that, you have a pretty decent movie. Jake Lloyd also sucks. And Darth Maul is horribly under used. But Liam Neeson and Ewan MacGregor are wonderful together. And there are some great Star Wars moments in the movie. The Darth Maul lightsaber duel at the end is great. Seeing Jabba the Hutt is kind of fun too. I find this to be an enjoyable movie, and having the knowledge from the third movie makes it a little more rewarding. Just watching Senator Palpatine is a lot of fun. He gives some looks that make his motives pretty clear. The first few times I saw this, I just watched it enjoying the fact that he was the Emperor, but never really looking too closely at his expressions. My biggest complaint with this movie are the ending battles. The fact that Jar Jar accidentally blows some shit up is stupid. And the fact that little Anakin accidentally blows up the droid control ship makes me mad. Hello-you have the force. Use it. Don't just make it an oops I accidentally pushed this button and accidentally blew some shit up. It's stupid.
Overall: I give this movie a 6/10.
Overall status: Least favorite of the trilogy. (6/6)

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones(2002)

I really stand by this movie. It is filled with great Star Wars moments, and character motives become a little more clear. Palpatine is pulling all his strings and Anakin is letting him do it. Seeing Yoda in action is also awesome. The first time I saw that in theater, my jaw hit the floor. It was something special. Hayden Christiansen is a little wooden in this movie-but it isn't his fault. George Lucas just can't write dialogue to save his life. And finally getting to see the start of the Clone Wars that Obi-Wan first talked about in the original Star Wars. To me, this is a solid entry in the Star Wars saga. It's got the origin of Boba Fett. It's got Sam Jackson kicking ass and chopping off heads.
Overall: I give this movie a 7/10.
Overall status: This movie is 5/6 in the entire trilogy.

Star Wars Episode 3: The Revenge of the Sith(2003)

Now this is what I'm talking about. This is what the rest of the prequel trilogy should have been like. Full of fun, excitement and clear connections to the original trilogy. This is a movie that just by talking about it, makes me want to watch it again. From start to finish, this movie is a joy to watch. Getting to watch the change from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader is a joy to behold. While I think more of the transition should have started in episode 2, what we are given is quite good. Just watching Palpatine manipulate him into joining the Dark Side is so interesting. He's the only guy who gives Anakin more than a minute of his time and who knows all of his secrets, that he in turn uses against him to twist him. There is still some bad love dialogue, but I still blame that one on Lucas. He needs to learn to give that area up and let someone else write it. This movie is also absolutely heart breaking. The final duel between Obi Wan and Darth Vader is sadder than hell. When Obi-Wan tells him that he loved him, and Darth Vader screams that he hates him while he is burning up-it chokes me up a little. Watching Obi-Wan walk away knowing that they aren't going to meet again until that fateful duel on the Death Star is also a pretty emotional Star Wars moment. I love this movie and I will stand by it forever.
Overall: 9.25/10
Overall status: 3/6(This movie has moved ahead of Jedi in my book)

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope(1977)

I love the shit out of this movie. I can watch it all the time and still get blown away by it. It's a great kick off to the original trilogy. The DVD special edition has some moments that make me mad, but not enough to lessen my enjoyment of it. Now having seen it right after Episode 3, it fits in well to the whole saga. Having Episode 3 end on the Sunsets on Tatooine was genius because that is how we are introduced to Luke. And seeing Darth Vader on the ship at the beginning is great because we now the journey that he has taken to get there. It makes you feel for him as a character and make you root for his eventual turn back to the light side of the Force. George Lucas did an amazing thing in making a character who originally appeared as the epitomy of evil, and turning him into a sympathetic character right from the get go. We now know how much he was manipulated and lied to. We know that there is good in him. I love this movie and will always consider myself a Star Wars nerd.
Overall: 10/10
Overall status: 2/6

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back(1980)

As much as I love the original Star Wars, I love this one a little more. Everything about this movie is bad ass. From the battle on Hoth to the final confrontation at Cloud City, this movie is filled with excitement. I love every character, I love every moment. This is also a pretty relentless movie, with the good guys in constant threat from the enemy. It doesn't let up. And the introduction of Yoda now makes me laugh. It seems to me that ever since he decided that he had to go into exile, poor Yoda has just beeing going a little crazy being on his own this whole time. There isn't anything negative to say about this movie. Every minute is great. This is easily my favorite Star Wars movie ever!
Overall: 10/10
Overall status:1/10

Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi(1983)

Jedi used to be my favorite movie. I loved seeing the Falcon barely escape the blowing up of the Death Star. I loved watching the little Ewoks dance in celebration at the end. I still hold high respect for this entry, but it isn't nearly as solid as the first two. I have nothing negative to say about this movie, but as my experiences in life have grown, my love of the earlier two movies has also grown. I still love this movie, just not as much as the others. That is all I can say about it.
Overall: 8.5/10
Overall Status: 4/10

Overall standings
1. Empire
2.Star Wars
3.Sith
4.Jedi
5.Clones

6.Phantom

Damn, I suck at updating this thing.

2005-10-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

So let's see. There is not much going on in my life. It's boring stuff. Just mostly watching movies and listening to music. And working. Always working. I'll try and rundown the list of movies I've watched with a little blurb about it.

The Innocents-1961-Just finished watching this a few minutes ago. It was scary. I liked it

High Tension-2004-Watched this last night. It scared the hell out of me-and then the ending came. I didn't like it. But upon thinking about it-I get it and it makes sense. I liked this one. Brutal as hell.

A Stranger is Watching-turned it off half way through. I didn't like it.

Titanic-watched it today after not having seen it since it's theater run. I got bored near the end. It's a decent movie-but it shows it's age. At least on my TV, the special effects were kind of weak.

Batman Begins-watched this twice this week. It was great. I still think Katie Holmes is the only weak point in the whole movie. She sucks. She is a snatch. But she can't come close to ruining this movie. Everyone else kicks the shit out of this movie. Awesome awesome stuff.

Stir of Echoes-again, hadn't seen this since the theater. It was good, but the ending isn't a good payoff. But the movie does a good job of building tension up to that point-but loses it at the end.

Palindromes-started watching this and turned it off. It didn't do anything for me. I was looking forward to it after enjoying Happiness, but I couldn't get through it.

Dave Chappelle, For What it's Worth-this was hilarious. I love Chappelle. He cracks me up. Good stand up from the funniest man on the planet.

Akira-started watching this and was thoroughly impressed with it. But then I turned it off to go to bed and never got around to starting it up again. I will though. And I'm pretty sure I'll like it.

Strings-this was a Danish, probably, movie that used marionettes to tell an interesing fantasy story. I really liked it. It sounds lame on paper, but it was executed very well. Highly recommended.

Stigmata-I don't know why the hell I wanted to watch this again. It was shit. And the DVD crapped out with about 10 minutes left in the movie and I didn't care. What a waste of time.

The Insider-fantastic movie. Russell Crowe is great and Pacino is great. I'm a big fan of this movie.

Ravenous-this was a crazy movie. I liked it, but it wasn't as brutal as I thought it would be. It was still good though.

Rock School-a great documentary about great kid musicians. The guitar wizard kid is amazing. I enjoyed this one.

Slacker-an interesing premise and well executed-this movie just didn't click with me. But I can see how people could like it.

The Office(American Version)-didn't like it. Laughed a few times. Love the original. This had potential, but spends more of it's time trying to copy the British show, when it has a strong enough cast to go in its own direction. The new season seems to be doing that, so that's good.

Oldboy-this was a crazy movie. It was good. I enjoyed it.

Can't Hardly Wait-I love this stupid little movie. I don't know what it is, but it cracks me up. I just have to root for Ethan Embry.

Hell House-interesing documentary about crazy religous types. They go a little too far trying to convert people.

Angels in America-I watched this in a marathon session. It was fantastic. Great performances by everyone involved.

Dog Day Afternoon-great Pacino performance-I really liked this one. Brutal ending, but what are you gonna do?

Kung Fu Hustle-this was a fun movie. Very entertaining.

Casablanca-finally got around to watching this. It was fantastic. I loved every minute of it.

That's it for now. Hopefully I'll update regularly, but I'm not making any promises.

General Long Overdue Update(9/27)

2005-09-27T23:48:00.000-07:00

So this is just going to be a generic, what I"ve been up to for the last month entry. Overall, I haven't really been up to much. I had a date, which failed miserably(I'm coming to terms with the fact that it was probably my fault.)So that wasn't too exciting. I went to my first dance club-which was also not that exciting. I don't dance-so being at a dance club, doesn't seem like a good fit. I saw a hand full of stand up comedians. Greg Behrendt, who was hilarious. Jeremy Hotz, who was also hilarious-and talked to me throughout much of the show. Bob Saget, who was genius. He's a filthy man. I think that's it. I also went and saw the Decemberists at the Fillmore. They ruled. I love that band and now anxiously await everything that they do. I also just the other day saw Green Day. They blew me away. Not musically, they were pretty much as I expected, but just as a presence. They sold out SBC Park-a 47,000 seat venue. I had no idea they were that huge. Who knew? Work has been work. Nothing terribly exciting going on over there. This weekend I'm going to Disneyland, which is going to be a blast. I can't wait. And in November, Mike Rogers and I are going to Vegas. I plan on losing at spending at least 1500 dollars. Let's hope I can turn that shit into profit. So that's all I have for now. I'll try and go through some old Netflix reviews, but if I can't get to them, I'll at least start updating it as I watch things. Until the next one of these-I hope everyone has a lovely day. Bye!!!

Netflix Triple Feature-8/15/2005

2005-08-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

Well, my excitement with Netflix is starting to dwindle. The service itself is still great, I'm just getting burnt out on movies. Watching 3 or 4 a week is starting to drain me. But I still watched some movies, and here are the reviews for them. Enjoy.

Freddy vs. Jason directed by another who gives a shit director.

This movie was boring. I disliked it. I dislike the fact that I watched other Freddy and Jason movies. They are decent, but I realize that they are not my type of movies. Oh well, you live and you learn-just like Alanis Morisette once sang. It's not quite that ironic though.

Overnight directed by two guys whose names I can't remember.

This is a movie about a guy who made a movie. His name is Troy Duffy. He is an asshole. He burns bridges, both personally and professionally without any hesitation. He made the Boondock Saints, a movie I have not, and will not ever see. I just don't have the desire to see it. But the documentary about his collosal meltdown is great. Hearing a man just yell at everyone is great fun, for the whole family. Anyone who has the balls to call Harvey Weinstein a cocksucker-has big balls, big dumb ass balls. I've got nothing else to say about it though-other than that you should see it. It's hilarious and unnerving all at the same time. Hooray for gigantic dumbasses.

Quills directed by Phillip Kaufman

This was a good movie. I enjoyed the hell out of it. The Marquis de Sade is one crazy ass man. And Geoffrey Rush plays him like a pro. Kate Winselt is good in it too. Overall it's a good movie. and I think others should watch it.

So as you can see-my desire to write paragraphs about every movie I watch is starting to trickle. Right now I have Casablance, The French Connection and Night and the City at my house right now-but I might wait until next week to watch them, as I'm right in the middle of a season 2 of The OC marathon. I'm enjoying the shit out of it. So until next time-be well.

The Five Alive Netflix Feature 8/14/05

2005-08-14T22:37:00.000-07:00

Netflix has been continuing to impress me, getting 4 more movies to me this week, and I watched one from the week before-giving me a grand total of 5 movies this week-add to that my Saturday Quentin Tarantino marathon-and I put in a good amount of movie time this week. So here we go with the movies

Knife in the Water directed by Roman Polanski

I had no idea what to expect going into this movie-and yet it still defied my expectations. I guess I was expecting a suspense thriller-and there were bits of that-but this was mostly a character study about people in the upper class and people in the lower class. After nearly running over a hitchhiker-a wealthy man and his wife invite him along to go on their sailboat. From that point on, the rich man continually tries to prove he is better than the lower class man. The suspense lies in assuming that the lower class guy is going to do something, but that is not what this movie is about. It goes in quite unexpected directions, and it feels plausible. I really enjoyed this movie-the cast was great-just three people on a boat for an hour and a half is pretty much all you get-but they make everything believable. Polanski does a great job at creating a moody atmosphere, but it never feels claustrophic.

I recomend this movie. It is definetely not for everyone's tastes-but it is a great class study with a great cast acting it. Go see it!

Run Ronnie Run directed by some guy.

I love Mr. Show. To me-there is hardly anything better or funnier than that show. So it was with gitty excitement that I finally got around to watching their feature length movie. And shit, was it ever disappointing. It just felt like every other forgetable SNL skit turned movie. I was hoping for more from these guys-they were given the chance to turn those crappy SNL conventions on their head with this movie-and instead they end up tredding the same familiar territory. There are a couple of really funny moments, unfortunately those are few and far betweem. The saving grace to the movie is a weird song interlude by Jack Black, where he sings a song called Kick Her in the Cunt. It's done in a Mary Poppins' chimney sweep style, and it is hilarious. It is worth sitting through the entire movie just to have seen that. But unfortunately this movie just sucks.

I do not recommend this movie as a whole-but there are a few moments that are worthwhile. Watch at your own risk.

Friday the 13th directed by some guy.

Confession time. It is the year 2005, and I have never, ever seen any of the Friday the 13th movies at all. I had been wanting to see them for some time, because I had been wanting to see Freddy vs. Jason, which I felt I could not watch until at least seeing the first entries in both of those series. So I was excited to see this movie, but assumed that the scares wouldn't hold up well 25 years after its release. I was wrong. Dead wrong. This movie scared the hell out of me. I was sitting on the edge of couch freaking out during some of the stalk scenes. My only complaint comes as a result of who the killer is. I have a hard time believing that this person was able to do some of the shit they did. But other than that, this movie kicked my ass-and I loved it.

Highly recommended for fans of slasher flicks. This is one of the best ones out there. Pure, trashy, bloody fun.

Friday the 13th Part 2 directed by some other guy.

This movie was interesting. The opening was very good-very scary. And also the obvious inspiration for the Scream opening. But the rest of the movie followed the same formulas as the previous one and didn't really offer anything new at all. Jason was suitably creepy-but he also looked kind of silly with that bag on his head. I enjoyed this movie and am thinking about picking up the box set of all the movies-because I figure if I enjoyed the first two-the rest would be just as enjoyable-no matter how bad they get.

I recommend this movie as a good installment in a cheesy horror franchise.

A Very Long Engagement directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet

I loved this movie. That Jeunet has so much style and bring such interesting things to the plate that it is hard to find faults in his movies. Hell, I even love Alien Resurrection. And Audrey Tautau is just so goddamned loveable, even more so than Salma Hayek, and believe me, that's saying a lot. This movie has everything. It's a good love story, a good mystery and a truly great war movie. The style brought to the battle scenes is amazing-doing stuff that I haven't seen in other war movies out there. I am seriously thinking about adding this to my collection-I liked it that much. There isn't more I can say about it. Just go and see it.

Highly recommended. Go see it now-for the love of God!!!

So that's it for last week. Please join me next week, where I will be watching A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy vs. Jason, The Fog of War, and Overnight. And possibly Casablanca if it gets to me. But I don't think it will.

The Films of Quentin Tarantino

2005-08-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, (8/13) I was trying to decide what movie marathon I was going to undertake, The Godfather Trilogy, or a Quentin Tarantion marathon. I ended up with Quentin. It was roughly 10 hours of great moviemaking. Starting with Reservoir Dogs and ending with Kill Bill Volume 2, it was interesting to watch a careers worth of movies in one sitting. References between movies are much more apparent, though those references generally die out after Pulp Fiction. It is my theory that all of Quentin's movies take place in the same universe, one just slightly skewed from ours. And with that, I will now discuss each film in the order of which movie I like better. Now bear in mind I love all of his movies, so just because something is last, that doesn't mean I don't like it, I just like the other ones a little more.

Pulp Fiction

In my mind, this is a perfect movie. It's two and a half hour run time is a breeze to get through. I there is something wrong with this movie, I haven't found it. My only slight concern is that Butch's girlfriend doesn't seem to serve any purpose other than to forget his watch. I like the scenes with her but it just seems like she isn't given a lot to do. Casting wise, this movie couldn't be more perfect. Sam Jackson and Ving Rhames are cool, bad ass mother fuckers with a vengeance. And believe it or not, there was a time when John Travolta was also a bad ass mother fucker. Too bad every movie he made after this is him trying to remind people that he was once cool. Bruce Willis is great, Uma is great. Everyone is great. Every story in this is great, weaving in and out of other stories, creating a time line for all the events in the movie. From classic lines, to c lassic scenes-this movie has it all. I love it.

Jackie Brown

It used to be that whenever I watched Jackie Brown it became my favorite Quentin movie. And then when I watched Pulp Fiction, that became my favorite. But for the first time ever, I actually watched them on the same day-and now having done that, Pulp Fiction becomes the better of the two. Jackie Brown is still an excellent movie, but the world it creates is not nearly as engrossing as Pulp Fiction's. Acting wise, this movie delivers insanely strong performances from everyone in the cast. And there isn't a wasted character at all in this movie. Everyone has a purpose and everyone helps move the story along. Sam Jackson is again a bad ass, but he is dislikeable bad ass, and I feel that that hurts him. Sam Jackson is a guy I always want to root for, and I just can't do it in this movie. Pam Grier is perfect as Jackie Brown and gives the character so much attitude and likeablity. Robert Forester is great as the lonely bail bondsman who wears his motives on his sleeve. And Chris Tucker is dynamite in the five minutes he has in the movie. I love this movie-but I love Pulp Fiction just a little more.

Kill Bill both volumes

I love this movie. And since I can no longer watch volume 1 without following it up with volume 2, I consider it one movie. Everything about it is great. The over the top violence, Uma kicking ass like she never kicked ass before, the stylish set pieces-the anime sequences being one of my favorite. There are a couple of slow points in the movie-but those come and go quickly-and we are dropped right back into the action. Again, casting is dead on. Everyone shines-even Darryl Hannah-who I usually don't like. I love the shit out of this movie and every time I watch it, it just keeps getting better. Hooray!

Reservoir Dogs

This was the first Quentin movie I saw-so it holds a special place in my heart. I still enjoy this movie-but it just doesn't seem as solid as everything else. As usual, casting and acting is dead on-with Tim Roth being the standout. Buscemi is great too-and I find myself liking everyone in this movie. So I guess I just don't like that no one gets away in the end-I liked these guys too much to see them all go down in the end. Even Michael Madsen I like-because how can you not like him? This is a great movie, but just falls a little short in the grand scheme of Quentin movies.

So there you go. There is Quentin for you. I love the man and I will always anxiously await everything he ever does. And no matter the quality, I will still love it-because that is how I am. Hooray for Quentin!!!

The White Stripes Live in Berkeley(8/12/05)

2005-08-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

I have been anxiously awaiting this concert since the moment I first hear about it a few months ago. I saw the White Stripes in Portland a couple years back-and it blew my mind. They were so good. Listening to their albums, you get a sense of how good a band they are because the songs they craft are so fantastic-but seeing them live is a completly different experience. They breathe new life into their songs, creating an experience that is completly different from listening to their albums. I've seen the Strokes twice now, and while they are good live, they don't veer too far from the album. But the White Stripes seem to take painstaiking measures to make their live show seperate from their albums. There is not a boring moment to be found at a White Stripes concert-they put total energy into the 80 minute set they have put together. And it was knowing this, that I eagerly awaited yesterday to come.

The last time I was at the Greek Theater was in high school, and it was to see Third Eye Blind. Yeah-they were decent, but the White Stripes edged them out as a better show. I got to the Greek around 7:15 or so and managed to get a great seat with a great view of the stage, and of the crowd, which I also like to have a good view of. The opening band was decent, but I didn't really pay much attention to them. At around 9 o'clock, the lights went down and Jack and Meg walked onto the stage. They opened with Blue Orchid-which is a great song. However, there were some sound issues, and this song sounded muddier than it should have. The vocals needed to be turned up, but I could watch the sound technician working hard to fix this, and in not much time, he did. After Blue Orchid, they tore into Black Math, which they opened with the first time I saw them. Black Math live is an experience, as they absolutely tear that song up. Now as usual, the setlist gets fuzzy around here-and I can't quite remember order-but I do remember songs. They did a few songs off their first album-playing When I Hear my Name, which is a favorite of mine from that album, as well as Astro, which also rocks. De Stijl was largely ignored at this concert, with Death Letter being the only song they played off of it-but they still did a fantastic job on that song. White Blood Cells had a good showing-with Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground(which, now that I think about it, probably followed Blue Orchid), Hotel Yorba, which is a great live song, and my favorite off of that album, Offend in Every Way. They repeated the second verse and omitted the third verse, but aside from that, they killed that song. They also played I Can Tell that We are Going to be Friends, which was shortly interruped when a balloon from a local radio station found its way on stage, finding itself face to face with an angry Jack White. He stopped the song, and said "What is this? A fucking radio promotion? What the fuck is this?" He then kicked back into the song from the start and upon finishing it, continued with this: "Now before we get blacklisted from the radio station for what I just said, I would like to request a written apology for interrupting my song." This was met with thunderous applause. I for one am glad it happened because it was a side of Jack White I hadn't seen. They hardly talked to the crowd at all the first time I saw them, so it was nice to hear it, even if it was more out of anger than anything else. Elephant had a good showing as well with Seven Nation Army(which I love what they do with that live), Black Math, I Just Don't Know What to do with Myself(which killed, they did a great jon with that) A great version of Ball and Biscuit which allows Jack to tear it up on the guitar for 7 minutes, which he does a great job doing. That man is fantastic at playing the guitar. And they of course did a rocking version of The Hardest Button to Button. And not to be outdone, Get Behind me Satan had a very strong showing as well, seeing as that it is the album they are touring in support of. Blue Orchid opeend the show. They played The Nurse-which was awesome, with Jack on a huge red and white xylophone, and Meg with a distorted guitar noise on an electric kit positioned near her standard kit. Everytime she hit it, it sounded so great. They also played My Doorbell, which I expected a lot more from, as it is one of my favorites on the album. It just didn't have the energy I was expecting it to have. They played Forever For Her, which was awesome. And they played a great version of Little Ghost, which Jack almost forgot some of the words to, but quickly saved himself. Meg also got a chance to shine on Passive Manipulation, which they played not once, but twice. And both times were great, with Meg pounding away on the red and white tymponies on the stage-which answered my question as to what exactly they were going to do with those. Her voice sounded great and as sexy as ever, although hearing her do Cold, Cold Night was sexier. One of the better songs of the evening was I'm Lonely(But I'm Not that Lonely Yet). It was the first song after the encore, and only Jack came out and played it on the piano and it was fantatsic. He put a lot of emotion into it. And to close the evening they played De Ballad of De Boll Weevil, which was a suitable closer. And he left the stage proclaiming his love for San Francisco since it was the first city in the US outside of Detroit to really embrace the White Stripes.

Overall this was a fantastic show and I will not hesistate to see them the next time they come around. They are one of the best bands in the whole world and their live show easily show why that is the case. They make it all look so easy while making it sound complex. They rock hard, possibly harder than any other band out there. Go see The White Stripes, you will not be disappointed.

Netflix Quadruple Feature(8/7/05)

2005-08-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hello hello. Last week I was quite impressed with Netflix. They managed to get 5 movies to me in one week(I'm impressed with myself for watching them as well-but that's just because I generally have shit else to do). So without further ado, here are the movies that I watched last week.

Basquiat-Directed by Julian Schnabel

Recommended to me by my friend Aimee while we were at the SFMOMA, this turned out to be a wonderful movie. Going into this movie, I had no idea who Jean-Michelle Basquiat was. Aimee had a calendar of his in her house, so I got to see one painting before I saw the movie. His art was really very interesitng-very off the wall, very frantic. I went to Borders the other day and looked at an art book of his and saw pictures of the man-and the actor, Jeffrey Wright, looked just like him. I liked this movie much more than Pollock because Basquiat was much more sympathetic. There were times when he was an asshole, but never with the consitancy of Pollock.

This movie also had a huge cast of actors in it. Benicio del Toro was in it and did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman had a great subdued performance, which I enjoy. He does crazy amazingly, but also does low key just as well. Parker Posey was in it, and was good. Claire Forlani was just as beautiful as ever, and also did quite well. But the real standout is David Bowie as Andy Warhol. I'm going to assume that Bowie was friends with Warhol, and with that could draw from his experiences. But he was Warhol in this movie-he had the look and the mannerisms down. Bowie rules.

Overall I highly recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys art. It's got a good story and interesing style to it. Go see it!

Frida directed by Julie Taymor

This movie was visually stunning. It had a surrealness to it that I really enjoyed. Salma Hayek does a decent job in this movie, but she is just do damn cute and in love with this role, that you root for her the entire time. Alfred Molina is amazing as always as Diego Rivera. The surreal moments in this movie are amazing and the best parts about the movie. The scene with Frida and Trotsky on top of some pyramids is very impressive. There's not much more for me to say on this movie. I enjoyed it, but it isn't something I'm ever going to watch again.

I recommend this movie for it's visual style. It looks great. Check it out.

Constantine directed by Some Guy.

I must admit something. I didn't hate this movie. I thought I would. I thought it would be fucking terrible, but turns out-it was decent. But my question is this: If you're Keanu Reeves-how do you follow up the Matrix trilogy? The answer-make the same movie, but with the Devil. The premise to the movie is absurd, the special effects look rushed, the acting is pretty terrible-but goddamn I was rooting for Constantine. I wanted him to kick the shit out of all those demons. But Keanu Reeves needs to move away from special effects movies-and try his hand at a real movie to see if he is a good actor. Because in special effects movie, he's not a good actor. Rachel Weisz-also not a good actor. She's pretty attractive, but I kind of wanted to gouge her eyes out, which is never a good sign.

But the best part of this movie lies in one piece of casting. And that is this: Peter Stormare as Satan. Genius! If the devil had himself a body-he would look like Peter Stormare-cocky, frightening and you can't trust him. (For any of you not aware of who Stormare is-he was in Fargo as the guy putting Steve Buscemi in the wood chipper, he was one of the Nihlists in The Big Lebowski, gave Tom Cruise new eyes in Minority Report and does a lot of great stuff). Whoever talked him in to being in this movie deserves a medal, because it was genius.

Overall I'm going to go ahead and recommend this. It isn't good, but it is entertaining as hell. Watch it, turn your brain off and enjoy.

The Fearless Freaks directed by Bradyley Beesley

This is a great documentary about one of my favorite bands, The Flaming Lips. It's an honest journey through their long ass career. They are a cooky band who make beautiful, surreal, intense music. Musically, I'm not too interested in their earlier work-I'm more of a recent fan. But it was interesting to see how the band started out as a kind of Coyne family band and progressed into what it is today. Overall this movie was highly entertaining and very good examination of a band that still remains down to earth to this day.

Overall this is recommended if you are a fan of the band, or just good music documentaries. Watch it-then go and listen to The Soft Bulletin or Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. You'll love it!

So this week I should be receiving Run Ronnie Run(the Mr. Show movie) A Very Long Engagement, and some Friday the 13th movies. And from last week, I'll be watching A Knife in the Water, a Roman Polanski joint. Should be awesome. Until then-see you then.

Netflix Triple Feature-8-1-05

2005-08-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

Last week only delivered 3 movies-but I was in a weird funk most of the week, punctuated by me acting like a jackass at a 5 year high school reunion get together. I'm coming out of that funk, but I think it's going to be a fairly continuous funk, as it seems like a "I need something more in my life" kind of funk. And I just said funk entirely too many times. Apologies. Anyway-on to the three movies I watched. These reviews are not going to very long. FYI.

Pollock directed by Ed Harris.

I enjoyed this movie. My friend Aimee(who recommended it to me)loved it and seemed quite disappointed that I did not love it. All the art in the movie was really neat-and everything dealing with the art I enjoyed. But Ed Harris seemed his usual yell at everyone self. The supporting roles were all good. I recommend this movie if you enjoy art.

Crash directed by David Cronenberg

For a movie about sex and car crashes, this movie was really boring. I turned it off halfway through. Some people think it's genius-I guess I just didn't get it. Oh well-I'm moving on.

Klute directed by Alan J. Pakula

This was a quite good detective movie. Jane Fonda plays an interesing prostitue and Donald Sutherland plays a good square forced to spend most of his time with her. They make an interesting couple. The movie gets pretty intense, but it never reaches real nail biter intensity. I recommend this movie. Watch it. (P.S. this is the same director that brought us All the President's Men-another excellent movie.)

Review: The Devil's Rejects

2005-07-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

Yeterday (July 25th) I went and watched The Devil's Rejects. I had no idea what to expect, but having been a big fan of House of 1000 Corpses, I knew good things were in store. The movie didn't even take five minutes to deliever some shocking brutality. The movie grabs you by the balls immediately and never really gives you a chance to breathe. As it turns out, it is much less of a horror movie, and more a very cold, calculating thriller. We start to understand more of how this family became so crazy-and not through flashbacks, more through getting to see them on the prowl and in crazy murderous action.

The cast all does an admirable job portraying crazy ass killers. Sheri Moon is not as likeable as Baby as she was in the first movie, but no one is really that likeable in this movie. The guy who played Otis(whose name I can't remember, and I'm too lazy to check imdb right now) was fantastic. I don't know if he actually is crazy in real life, but he did a damn fine job convincing me that Otis was a cold, psychotic killer. He had a very Manson-esque way about him-very creepy. But for me, the star of the show was Sid Haig. I love his character of Dr Spaulding-the scene with the mother and her kid cracked me up. I felt bad laughing, but to me, funny is funny-and that shit was hilarious. It was also great getting to see Brian Posehn in this movie. That kid cracks me up-and I'm sure he loved every second he got to spend in the movie. The cop in the movie did a good job of going from a good cop trying to do his job, to a crazy ass guy trying to beat this family. But at no point was I rooting for him to win-I wanted to see this crazy ass family make it.

Overall this movie was disturbing, hard to watch at times and pretty graphic. And I loved every minute of it. This movie had good humor to it(although extremely dark) and everyone looked like they were having a good time. I recommend this movie if you have a twisted sense of humor and don't mind a lot of fake blood gushing out of people. Fun times at the movies.

Netflix Quadruple Feature(7/24)

2005-07-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

If Netflix keeps getting 4 movies a week to me, I will rename this permanently. So hear is my latest addition, I hope you enjoy.

Before Sunrise directed by Richard Linklater

Ever since I heard about the premise to the sequel of this movie, I was interested in checking this one out. I made sure to see this one before I saw the second one because I knew I would be lost in the second one without seeing this one first. I was unsure going into this how it would play out, listening to two people talk for an hour and a half, but I was pleasently surprised. The movie is very engaging and turns out to be a very interesting look at relationships.

Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are both very good in their roles, with Delpy being better than Hawke. Ethan Hawke bugged me a lot throughout the movie though, and while he did a good job as an actor, the person he was playing was just kind of a dumbass, and I had a hard time believing that Julie Delpy would fall for this American guy.

What really made this movie work for me was how familiar it seems. Everyone has moments like these where everything is laid out in front of you, and it is up to you how you react to it. More often than not I find myself acting in the opposite way, always wondering what would have been. I'm not much of a risk taker that way, and to see Ethan Hawke take such a risk made me wish that I had the ability to do that. The movie also does an excellent job at keeping some of the bigger moments ambigous, leaving it up to the viewer to decide what they they think happened. It was an interesing choice and one that works extremely well in this movie.

I really enjoyed this movie for its honest look at relationships and watching two characters interact so naturalyl with one another. This movie is recommended by me.

Before Sunset directed by Richard Linklater

The sequel to Before Sunrise is an extremely interesing experiment, and ultimately much more engaging than the original. Taking place in real time-we are treated to the 80 minute reunion between the two characters from the original movie and we get to hear how their lives have changed in the 9 years since we left them. I was unaware going into this that it took place in mostly real time and didn't really notice at first, but then I started seeing how long of takes they were using and was amazed to find out that it was indeed occuring in real time.

Ethan Hawke remained very similar in this movie, and he got a little more on my nerves in this one because everything he said for the first 20 minutes were bad jokes, to which he would add, "I'm just joking". He got on my nerves, but I still found myself hoping that this movie would end happy for him. It's a testament to these actors that they can make this kind of movie so engaging and make you really care about them in a short amount of time. They are really only given a few minutes to make us care about them again, and they pull it off quite well.

This movie is very interesing because we get to deal with much bigger issues, as we find out that these two characters have really been pining for each other since they last left. I dated a girl from Australia a while back, and we had a short time together, but it felt really meaninful. From tiem to time, things will remind me of her-so I've never really forgotten about her, and this movie made me wonder if she remembers me from time to time.

My only real complaint with this movie is that it ties up the ambiguties from the first movie, and I personally would have preferred to have them remain ambiguous. The way they did it worked, but I would still have preferred that it was left a mystery.

This movie too ends on an ambigous note, but I was unhappy to see this end, as I really could have watched another hour and a half of this movie pretty easily. My hope is that there will be more of these movies, but even if this was the end, it is still a pretty fitting end. Ethan Hawke's character sums it up quite well at the beginning of the movie-saying that if you are a romantic, then the movie ends romantically, but if you are a cynic, then it will end badly. It's left up to us. and I for one hope for a happy ending for these two.

Highly recommended-but I insist that you watch the first one, first.

In Good Company directed by...does it really matter?

I really wanted to like this movie. I'm a Topher Grace fan and I hope his movie career works out for him, because if it doesn't, I'll be more upset that he left That 70's Show. And while he does a passable job in this movie, it really is nothing special. And I think Scarlet Johanssen is absolutely gorgeous, and she is usually good too, but again, she was nothing special. Topher Grace said it best in Oceans Twelve when he told Brad Pitt that he phoned this movie in. I think everyone involved phoned this movie in, and the reception wasn't very good when they were doing that. (That's a bad joke-but I realize that it is)

This movie never really felt like it ever started-throwing us into the movie without ever really explaining anything. And maybe I wasn't paying that close of attention, but the whole Topher Grace becomming Dennis Quaid's boss never really made any sense to me. Overall, this movie seemed like a rush job, with little time or effort given to make us care about these characters. The only good thing I can say about the movie is that it didn't end typically like I assumed it would.

This movie does not come recommended by me. I only laughed a couple of times and just generally didn't give a shit about any of it.

Dawn of the Dead remade directed by...who really gives a shit.

This movie sucked. In my opinion, it spit in the face of everything the original stood for. The original was a slow, methodical movie. It took time to build scares, and to develop the characters into well rounded people. This one was just a flashy movie with no real surprises to it. Every character's path was laid out the moment they uttered their first line. The original was unique because the characters had real arcs in their story and they earned everything you felt for them, which it made it that much more tragic when characters died. The remake just had cookie cutter characters and I didn't give a shit about any of them.

The gore was the only thing seemed to have any time devoted to it, but even that was pretty straight forward. I didn't like how this movie made the zombies fast and super human. The fat lady that was getting wheeled around on a wheelbarrow-how the hell did she just get up and start running?

Overall this movie pissed me off, and I really wish I hadn't spent two hours watching it. But in the end, I have no one to blame but myself. I do not recommend this movie at all. Avoid it at all costs.

So that's it for this week. Next week I have Klute, Crash, Pollock, and Basquiat. So until then I hope you don't watch the Dawn of the Dead remake. It's really bad.

San Diego Comic Con

2005-07-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank www.mwctoys.com and the man who runs that site-Michael Crawford-for taking these great pictures. Go check out his site for all your toy needs! And so, for your viewing pleasure-on to the pictures of the things I deem to be awesome! (Note: I did not attend the Con, these are just things I think are cool. One day, I will be in attendance and it will be awesome!)

I've been against getting this line because I didn't want to start collecting too many of these awesome figures, but this Akuma looks too good to pass up.

I've never had an interet in getting busts, but this Lando looks great. If the price is right, it will be mine.

I'm never going to be able to afford this, but it is fucking awesome. Now I have to watch The Rocketeer again.

As opposed as I am to the Napolean Dynamite toy existing, I have to admit that it looks pretty damn cool.

Westside Cartman looks great! It might be the only South Park toy I buy.

This Uma figure rules and would be a good addition to my mini Uma collection(it consists of a Kill Bill poster and a Pulp Fiction poster). This also looks a lot better than the previous Kill Bill Uma. This one will be mine!

I already have this guy pre-ordered and I might have to get bloody Marv as well. The glasses don't look that good on this toy, but hopefully it will look better in person.

I will not be able to afford this, and I wouldn't have anywhere to put it But goddamn is it awesome!

Is it just me or do these look kind of crappy? Oh I'll buy them-but the don't look nearly as good as Shake does. But again, maybe in person this will be different. Let's hope so.

This guy only costs 650 dollars. But it is a life size bust of Darth Maul-that's pretty bad ass. One day when I have millions of dollars, I will have rooms full of stuff this bad ass.

I don't know jack about Dr. Doom-but I do know that this statue looks awesome. Just thought I'd share it.

I was one click away from buying that Darth Vader for 350 bucks, but I didn't. That's good though because I would have had to pay another 350 to get that Obi-Wan, and that's money I don't want to spend. But they sure do look awesome!!!

Netflix Triple Feature-7/17/2005

2005-07-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

This week wasn't the best Netflix week I've had. But I will still give you my Netflix reviews, and this week I will be reviewing 4 movies, though I only made it through 3 of them.

A Woman Under the Influence directed by John Cassavetes

This was a very difficult movie to watch. It has superb performances by Peter Falk and Gena Rowlands and every other actor in the movie. It has an extremely interesitng visual style to it-more fly on the wall than movie. Everything about this movie is fantastic-but it is still hard to watch. The scenes can go on for upwards of 20-30 minutes as we are forced to sit on these situations that don't feel like we're watching a movie, it actually feels like we are watching real people with real problems. The last scene is especially hard to watch with Peter Falk going full blown crazy.

This is really a movie about a family dealing with their crazy wife/mother. And she isn't movie crazy where she starts screaming and becoming an obvious danger to those around her. She is a much more subtle crazy that becomes increasingly difficult to deal with. But not to be outdone, Peter Falk's character is just as crazy as the mother-he just doesn't know it. He switches moods on a dime-going from happy go lucky dad, to a screaming menace. He even gets his kids drunk on Hamm's in the bed of a truck. It's kind of funny, but when you actually start to think about-it is obvious that he is a worse parent than Mabel, who has been sent to an institution.

I highly recommend this movie but be prepared for an emotionally draining movie that doesn't leave you feeling happy at the end.

The Testament of Dr. Mabuse directed by Fritz Lang.

I have not finished watching this movie yet. I might try and finish it up tonight, but it really was a difficult watch. It's not that it was bad-it's actually quite good, but I've watched it in two half hour intervals, and they were the longest half hours to get through. Everything moves at such a slow pace, that you think a lot of time has passed, but then you actually see how much time has passed and come to find that it's only been a few minutes. If I finish watching this tonight, I will check back in with you all and let you know my final verdict.

Shaun of the Dead directed by Simon Pegg(I think)

This movie is great. I had seen it once before and enjoyed it more for its British sense of humor than its zombie movie qualities. This movie is not simply a parady of other zombie movies-though it does pay its respects to Romero's Dead trilogy. This movie is its own zombie movie, and a quite effective one at that. It's premise is very simple-what if zombies invaded a town and the only guy who could save the day was a loser who doesn't even realize there are zombies until about half way through the movie? It has good commentary on society in that we are all pretty well stuck in our day to day routines that if you weren't paying attention-it might be easy to not notice that the people around you had turned into mindless zombies. The British humor in this movie is also top notch-the record throwing scene being one of my favorites, as well as the drunken DJ party they have at the beginning.

But not just a hilarious movie, this movie also has a lot of heart to it, that I feel was lacking. When characters die in this movie, it is really heart breaking. I was even sad when the grown up Harry Potter had his intestines removed from hins gut region. To jump topic-the various homages to the various Dead movies are plentiful. Everything from music, to dialogue, to deaths all pay homage to those great movies. It took me watching those movies recently to catch the references this time around, but that made it a much more rewarding experience.

Overall, this is recommended for fans of zombie movies and good British humour. Watch it-you will not be disappointed.

Naked Lunch directed by David Cronenberg.

This was a weird movie. Not being familiar at all with the book, and only having a basic plot synopsis of the movie, I really had no idea what to expect going into this. I'm not sure if I liked it-but I know it didn't hate it. It's definetely a movie that I would need to watch a couple more times to fully appreciate all that it has going on. And it has a lot going on in it. While not as disturbing as I thought it was going to be-I thought this was far tamer and Videodrome-it still had some gross moments. The talking bugs generally were the weirdest things in the movie-but then again-so was the weird, bug sex creature.

Overall, this was a strange movie with good performances all around. Peter Weller, of Robocop fame turns in a great performance as the lead-he plays the whole movie in a very low key manner. Ian Holm does a good job in it, as he always does. And everyone does a good job. But to fully appreciate this movie, I have to put in a few more viewings.

Overall, I recommend this movie if you like weird, interesing movies. But be prepared to have to see it a few times. And be prepared for a few gross things as well.

So that's it for this week. Join me next week when I will review Before Sunset and Before Sunrise both directed by Richard Linklater. I also have In Good Company coming, starring one of my favorites, Topher Grace. Until then, have a great week!

I've Seen Dead People (My Trip to The Universe Within)

2005-07-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Saturday July 16th, I took a trip up to San Francisco with my work friend Aimee. Our goal was to go and see The Universe Within, an exhibit about the human body. In this exhibit were a number of cadavers, as well as hundreds of specimens of organs. I thought I would be grossed out by it, but it turned out I was not. It was a really interesting exhibit that showed off the human body in ways I had never seen before. I don't think I had ever seen real human organs in person, and it was very educational.

The cadavers and organs were from Beijing University, and I assume all the work to open the cadavers and plasticize them was done there as well, but I am not sure of that. The cadavers were very interesting, but they started to get repetivie after a while. They showed off all of the muscles, bones, and organs and even had the cadavers set up in physical activty, such as riding a bike, or throwing a baseball. But easily the most interesing thing there was what Aimee and I came to call, The Blood Man. It was a body in which everything but the blood vessels had been removed. It took me a while to accept the fact that it was real, but like everything else on display, it was authentic. It ws amazing to see just how complex the blood vessels are, and how they keep the shape of whatever limp they are in-hands and feet, and fingers were clearly formed. The imagination and creativity of the people behind this is unmatched. It was great being in such a neat environment, where you knew you were surrounded by like minded people. I guess there were protests to this early on by those whacky Christians who don't believe in learning anything from the deceased, just in burying them and leaving them be. But since this has been going on for a while now, they had moved on to other matters of protest. Overall, it was a very interesting exhibit that I highly recommend people attend. I think it runs through until September at the Masonic Center in San Fran.

After that fun trip, we headed over to the SFMOMA, but I was a little disappointed by that. It is too similar to the NY MOMA, and since I was just there in January, it all had a feeling like I just seen most of these paintings(which in reality I had).

Then we went to a restaurant for drinks where Aimee used to work called LuLu's and we sat at the bar. Aimee told me about the time she had to protect Winona Ryder from hordes of screaming teenage girls. She also told me how Jennifer Aniston used to come in and sit in the very spot that Aimee was sitting in. I thought that was neat. Unfortunately there were no celebrities to gawk at tonight, just good food and good drinks.

We then headed over to Virgin Megastore and wandered around there for an hour or so and I picked up The Postal Service album Give Up. I'm still taking it all in, but overall I am impressed with it.

Then, after that, we went over to the Rogue restaurant and had a few beers there. I also bought 6 22oz. bottles from them. After that we went home. Me to mine and her to hers. It was a a fun, educational day and I really enjoyed myself. So take that!

My Trip to the Left Bank

2005-07-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

Santana Row is a funny place. Walking through it, you get only a small glimpse at the type of people that flock there on the weekends, and really every other day of the week too. Walking through it you can see some funny people trying really hard to impress people-but like you, you just assume they are walking from one place to another, and with purpose. But if you actually seat yourself, and remain a stationary observer, you get to see things that are not only hilarious, but borderline crazy.

On Sunday, July 10th, I gathered with some coworker friends of mine for drinks and dinner at the Left Bank-a somewhat snooty, though not nearly as snooty as other places on the Row, restaurant. We were seated outside right next to the main road through Santana Row. As far as San Jose people watching, there is hardly a better place to position yourself. First, let's talk about the people. People walking through Santana Row, when viewed while walking, seem purpose driven. But when you are stationary, you can see that the only purpose walking serves them, is to be seen. They will stop for no reason-and if you actually look at them, if you're me anyway, will give you a look that says-"Even though I want people to look at me, why in the fuck are you looking at me?" Could it be that you have gigantic fake breasts falling out of your not so gigantic shirt? Or is that you happened to stop in my eyeline? Who knows. I do know that the kind of people they want looking at them, are not me. Another interesting thing that Santana Row has going for it is the joggers. Though really just a mall, the fact that Santana Row is outside gives it the unique ability to entertain people who like to jog in insanely crowded places. I saw the same guy, in the shortest shorts, twice in about 15 minutes, indicating to me that he was making pretty good time. But the main thing to realize when people watching in Santana Row is that everything is a trophy to these people-be it there dogs, their children, or their breasts-they are all being carted around to get attention and hope that the right kind of people glance at you and wish, if even for just a moment, that their lives were half as good as theirs. But if you're me-they really just want you to stop staring at their cleavage.

But perhaps the greates thing about Santana Row are the cars. My assumption of cars was that they were used for getting from point A to point B as effortlessly as possible. But I was wrong. The point of your car at The Row, is to have people look at your car, and again, hope to lead the kind of life that can get you one of those cars. But the kind of cars that get paraded around there are not super cars, or cars that are out of reach to the common man. They are new Mustangs, Corvettes, H2's, etc. The same red Corvette passed our table 5 times in 10 minutes. He was just doing circles around Santana Row-and I know he wasn't having trouble finding parking-because to do that, he would have had to have been out of sight in the parking garage. No-he was just driving around in circles trying to impress the bystanders of Santana Row. But these kinds of cars, while not cheap, are not expensive, in the sense of being cars. 85,000 dollars might be a lot-but there are cars that are way more expensive than that. And it is these cars that feel they have to show off the most-the cars that need to take the laps. The super cars, now these guys know how to show off. The nicest car I saw on Sunday, was a brand new, silver Lamborghini Murcielago. And all this guy had to do, was drive past once, at a reasonable speed-and without loud music, or having to look around to make sure people are watching, or without revving an engine-and his car was burned into the memories of all that saw it. The guy who dropped 250,000 on his car, has nothing to prove to anyone-the guy who dropped 65,000 on his car, really needs that constant reassurance that the money he spent was worth it.

Santana Row cracks me up, and if you get the chance to go and sit there and watch the constant parade of people out to prove their with to humanity, then for the love of God, go! We sat and had drinks for 3 hours, and while the conversation was entertaining-it was the people that we saw that made this evening hilarious. I hope it made you smile.

Random Things That Make Me Happy

2005-07-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

Hello-my name is Matt. I am an incredibly easy person to make happy. For me, it is all about simple pleasures. Such as cold water on a hot day. I thought of that only because it is insanely hot in my apartment right now and cold water is the only thing keeping me sane. So here, presented for the first time in print-I bring to you random things that make me happy.

1. The iPod. I can't imagine what my life was like before the iPod. Why on earth did I spent 50 dollars on a CD book that can only hold 200 cds-and you still had to manually remove them and put them in your CD player. That's just dumb. With the iPod-everything is just a button push away. And it fits in your pocket. Those big ass CD books weigh a bunch, and unless you have GIGANTIC pockets, it's not going to fit in there. So save yourself the grief and go buy an iPod.

2. Mr Show. If you are unfamiliar with Mr Show, then I have very little respect for you. While that isn't entirely true, it's pretty close. Mr. Show is the hilarious brainchild of Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, 2 of the funniest people alive. Mr. Show is sketch comedy brilliance, with each skit leading into the next one seamlessly. With a hilarious supporting cast, there's hardly an unfunny skit on Mr. Show. Some skit highlights include-Swear to God, a religous show where the pastor uses vulgarity to teach the word of God. We Love our Gay Son-A mother and father advertise all around town that they love their gay son despite his protests, and the fact that he isn't gay. The story of Everest-after his return from climbing Mt. Everest, a man tries telling his family the story about it, unfortunately he keeps stumbling backwards, knocking over his mother's tiny thimble collection-over and over and over again. And Drunk Cops-a cops like show where the cops are drunk and fight with each other. Either come over and watch this with me, or go out and rent it yourself-you won't be disappointed.

3. David Sedaris. David Sedaris is a brilliant comic writer. His books are all laugh out loud hilarious and get better and better with each read through.His stories all revolve around his life and his family. He finds humor in every aspect of his life-even tradegy. As I sit here trying to figure out what to write about this guy-I'm at a loss. The books I have that have read are Barrel Fever, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, and Dress Your Family in Denim and Corduroy. They are all hilarious and I suggest you pick up any of them and read them.

So that is it for this weeks things that make me happy. Hopefuly some other things make me happy so that I can update this, but until then-take care my friends.

Album of the Week(7/11)

2005-07-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

The Decemberists, Castaways and Cutouts
Review-9.4

It all started a few months ago. I was reading a review of the Decemberists album, Picaresque and it sounded interesting so I picked it up. I was pleasently surprised to find out that not only was it a good album, but it was goddamn awesome. I listened to the shit out of it for a while, then as I do with bands I like, I decided to go back in time and pick up earlier albums from them. So I purchased Her Majesty the Decemberists and also found that I liked that album, but not quite as much as Picaresque. So after spending some time with that, I decided to dig in and I purchased their first album, Castaways and Cutouts. I was initially turned off by it, and instead spent most of my time with Picaresque. But then one day, I decided to listen to Castaways and Cutouts straight through, no interruptions. Now I was pleasently surprised by the fact that not only was this a good album, I liked it even more than Picaresque. It actually became my favorite Decemberists album. I haven't stopped listening to it for about a month now. The last time a CD did this to me was back in October, with Rilo Kiley's exceptional The Execution of all Things.

Cut to today, and the Decemberists are my current favorite band. I've listened to Castaways and Cutouts almost every day on my way to work and it keeps getting better. It starts off strong with Leslie Anne Levine an then moves on to another great song, Here I Thought I was an Architect. Two extremely solid songs, that set the pace for the rest of the album. July, July is an enthusiastic song that stands apart from the rest of the CD. This album is pretty chilled out for the most part, with a couple of stronger, faster paced songs to break up the slower songs. Odalisque is a great song that has slow parts, but builds up well to a more intense, more lively song than anything else on the album. Overall this album is fantastic. I recommend that you get off your ass right now and go and buy this CD. Then buy a ticket to see the Decemberists on September 11th at the Fillmore and go with me to see them. It's going to be awesome.

Netflix Triple Feature-7/9/05

2005-07-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I saw George A. Romero's Land of the Dead and was generally underwhelmed by it. There was decents amounts of gore, and a fairly interesting story, but overall I didn't really care about anyone in the movie. John Leguizamo pisses me off, so right from the start, I was against him. And Asia Argento was kind of dumb, and I didnt' care about her either. So I guess you could say that overall this movie lacked heart. This led me to wonder just what the deal with George A. Romero is. Up to that point, I hadn't seen a single one of his movies, so I was hesistant to call the man a hack without first visiting his original zombie movies. So with this in mind, I set out to watch his original zombie trilogy.

Night of the Living Dead directed by George A. Romero

So this is the movie that started it all back in 1968. Shot in sparse black and white and in really only one location, it is evident from the get go just how many other movies this one has inspired. This movie wastes no time in getting right to the action, killing off the first character in pretty much the first 5 or 10 minutes. Then we have our sterotypical(stereotypical now, not then)dumb blonde woman who would rather freak out than actually try to help her situation. She quickly retreats to a deserted house that clearly inspired the Evil Dead house-it has a cellar and even the heads of animals on the walls. Other people join the situation and infighting starts as to what to do with the unknown zombie menace lurking just outside their door.

This is a psychological movie, punctuated with a few action set pieces. We are thrust into a situation with these characters as they try desperatly to figure out just what the hell is going on. Now if it was 2005 in this movie-the characters would know that they are zombies outside and you just have to get the hell out of there, mowing down how every many you have to. But this is 1968, and they aren't privy to this knowledge at this point, so they are utterly confused as to what these creatures are, and how to deal with them. Are they strong? Are they smart? And really what hope do you have against an enemy that you have no idea how to deal with. Remind anyone of any wars going on in the year 1968? And for a movie made in that year, it is surprisingly graphic. Fingers get chopped off, and zombies get shot, and people get blown up real good. While clearly not as graphic as his later offerings, you can definetly see where he is going.

Night of the Living Dead is one the most unique and chilling horror movies ever, and it doesn't end happy. It ends with no questions answered, and everyone dying-the last character to go finds himself the unfortunate target of a band of dumbass rednecks. The photographs that play over the end credits are a chilling end to a horror masterpiece. While not for everyone's tastes, I highly recommend this movie.

Dawn of the Dead directed be George A. Romero

Going into this movie, I truly had no idea what to expect. Expectations for it were high because of the praise that this movie has received as one of the classic cult horror movies of all time. I saw the remake before I saw this one, and the remake felt like a typical Hollywood movie. It was good, but nothing remarkable or really truly memorable. The original though, is an entirely different story. I found this movie to be suspensful, hysterical, and even touching at times. This movie has the heart that Land of the Dead was missing. Here we are given a small cast of characters and we get to watch the monotenous tasks that they have to do to survive, and it is in watching these things that we grow to care about these characters. Not everone starts out as a bad ass zombie killer, they have to learn how to become one. Barricaded up in a mall they have no choice but to learn how to deal with the zombies, or face death.

George Romero really brough his A game in making this movie. Made 10 years after the original, it takes place not long after the events of the original. The zombies are spreading and the military has been called in to deal with them. If the first movie was about our fears in the Vietnam era, this movie is about the ever increasing rise of consumerism. Zombies instinctually flock to the mall, and our heroes bask in the glory of getting to run around an emply mall with no consequences. The action in this movie is great, bringing us heaps of gore to enjoy. But it is the moments between the action that make this movie great. We get to know and care so much about the 4 main characters, that when 2 of them meet their untimely death, we are just sad as the characters that lose them.

This movie ends a little more optimistically than Night of the Living Dead but really nothing has changed. The characters haven't saved the day, and they aren't any better off having escaped. As soon as the chopper that they use to leave the mall lands somewhere else, they are going to have the same problems they just dealt with. In the end, we feel the same relief that they feel, but we are also saddled with the same uneasiness that the characters must be feeling as we know that better times are not ahead. Again, this is not a movie for everyone's tastes, but if you love a good zombie movie, you cannot do better than Dawn of the Dead. It is just as good and just as classic as everyone says it is. Now I just have to go out and buy that 3 disc collectors edition.

Day of the Dead directed by George A. Romero.

After loving the last two Dead entries, I was very excited going into this movie. Expecting the same level of zombie goodness that we got with the last two movies, I was in for quite a shock. The majority of this movie does not deal with zombies. This movie concerns itself with a group of scientists trying desperatly to figure out how to deal with the zombies, while military men are watching over their shoulders just wanting to kill the zombies. Infighting ensues and there are many standoffs in this movie. It is pretty clear right from the get go what Romero's view of the military is. All the military men in Day of the Dead are assholes and would rather use their guns than their brains. The scientists are our heroes in this movie, and we want them to succeed, just so they don't have to deal with those military assholes.

The zombie action in the first two movies was practically relentless, there was a sene of dread in the air, that at any moment you could have to face down hordes of zombies. But in Day of the Dead the zombies aren't the threat, at first. It is man's desperation that is the threat. With no real hope left, these men are willing to kill anyone to prove their points. The first 80 minutes or so primarly deals with the tension between the characters, while the zombie menace is kept at bay outside by fences. The main military man quickly gets set up as the primary villain in this movie, as he threatens almost every other character in this movie with no remorse. The other mlitary men aren't as evil as this guy, but they are very unlikeable.

But this wouldn't be a zombie movie without some great zombie action, and at about the 80 minute mark, we are treated to some fantastic zombie action. Once the inevitable happens and the zombies enter the facility that the characters are holed up in, we get some of the most wonderfully disturbing flesh eating action. Guts are pulled from insides, arms are hacked off, eyes are pulled out. It's even more graphic and gory than the first two films, and I loved every second of it. This movie does a remarkable thing, in that when the zombies finally overtake the facility, we find ourselves rooting for them more than the military men, which interstingly enough, are the only ones eaten by the zombies-the scientists are allowed to escape pretty much unharmed. For Romero to make the zombies more likeable than the military further cements his opinion on the military.

While not as action packed as the previous movies, this is a worthy end to the original trilogy. It is not as funny as Dawn of the Dead and not nearly as creepy as Night of the Living Dead, it still holds its own quite well. I highly recommend this movie, and highly recommend the entire trilogy to anyone who enjoys a good zombie film. But if you enjoy a good zombie film already, chances are you've seen these movies already. Now I think I have to give Land of the Dead another chance, because now I know that Romero is no hack, he is the king of zombie movies.

Coming next week: A Woman Under the Influence directed by John Cassavetes, The Testament of Dr. Mabuse directed by Fritz Lang, and Naked Lunch directed by David Cronenberg. And if it comes in time, the remake of Dawn of the Dead directed by some guy whose name I don't know. So until next week, be well.

Random Review of the Week(7/03)

2005-07-05T20:36:00.000-07:00

Clerks. directed by Kevin Smith

Clerks is a love it or hate type of movie. I personally, love it, and am a pretty huge fan of Kevin Smith's films. The first time I saw Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, I was rolling on the floor laughing at every single joke throughout. And I'd like to say that Clerks started it all for me, but I was only 12 when it came out, so needless to say, it flew under my radar. Mallrats was my introduction to Kevin Smith and I was about 15 when I saw that and I instantly fell in love with the hilarity in that movie. Then I saw Clerks and I was floored. Now granted, I never had, and still really haven't faced a lot of the issues that the characters in the movie deal with, but I connect with Dante and Randall regardless. They are geeks, stuck in a world that doesn't give a shit about their geekiness. Kevin Smith is truly one of the great geeky directors out there working today, whose geekiness isn't cinephile geekiness-it's comics and Star Wars geekiness. He embraces his love of all things geeky and puts it out there for all the rest of us geeks to worship. He makes movies for the action figure collecting, video game playing, comic book reading, Star Wars worshipping people. It gives a voice to people like me, who generally are pretty ignored. I think he has helped pave the way for the mass acceptance of video games, and comic book culture. The OC wouldn't have nerdy Seth Cohen without having the nerdy clerks. That 70's Show wouldn't have nerdy Eric Foreman without having the nerdy clerks. Would comic book movies be the majority of movies hitting the movie theater today? Kevin Smith made it cool to be a geek, and it all started with Clerks. Clerks today is still as funny as it has ever been. Sucking 37 dicks, possibly in a row, is still hilarious. Showing a jizz mopper a close up of a vagins is still hilarious. Manually masturbating animals for artificial insemination is comic gold. For as little expectations that the actors had for the movie, they fill it with passion. They believe the words they are saying-and they are those characters. Unfortunately for Jeff Anderson and Brian O'Halloran, they will probably never live down their characters, regardless of where their careers take them. They are Dante and Randall. Clerks is an important film, a hilarious film, and a film that I can't imagine being without. Kevin Smith has had a pretty long and interesting career, and I look forward to Clerks 2. The expectations are through the roof for that movie, and I for one have nothing but confidence in the man because you can tell he loves these characters just as much as the rest of us do. Here's to you Mr. Smith.

The Netflix Triple Feature

2005-07-05T19:58:00.000-07:00

Hell0-my name is Matt and I am a new subscriber to Netflix, which I now feel is the greatest invention on the planet-next to the iPod and Foreman Grill. I wanted to set it up so that I would always have movies coming to me, but it seems I'm going to have to make due with only 3 a week, and once in a while 4. It apparently takes movies a lot longer to get back to them, than it does for movies to get out to me. Last week, I got my first shipment, and I will review those three movies for you tonight-and you can expect that every week I will drop a new triple feature review once all new movies have been watched. But as usual, I'll probably forget to update from time to time. Without further ado, on to the movies.

Happiness directed by Todd Solondz.

Hmmm....This was definetely an interesitng movie. I watched it, I laughed throughout much of it, but still I walked away feeling incredibly dirty. Was it the two close ups of jizz hitting a wall? Perhaps. Was it a kid talking to his dad about his hopes of one day cumming? Getting closer. Was it the sight of Jon Lovitz? Not quite. You see, there were actually many redeeming qualities about this movie. The humor throughout was pretty funny, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman turns in one of his best performances to date. And believe it or not, Lovitz was actually good in his role, for all 5 minutes that he is in it. Truth is, there is a lot about this movie to like and a lot of interesting avenues explored. Every character in this movie is looking for happiness, and it turns out that most of is it fleeting. The happiness people experience throughout the movie are broken down into moments-such as having sex with a Russian kleptomaniac, or said child eventually cumming, or even a father anally raping two little children. Wait, what? And there it is-the thing about this movie that makes you feel dirty. Now a few months ago, I watched a film called The Woodsman starring Kevin Bacon. This is a subtle movie about a man and his pedophilic urges. Subtlety is what made that movie good, and the brewing tension it built with that subtlety. Happiness is a movie that pulls no punches. Everything is frankly discussed, including a father's pedophilic urges. You can be guaranteed that almost any scene involving a child in this movie is going to make you feel a little weird. Do I reccommend this movie? I do. It's funny, and touching at times, but if you are squeamish about any of the things mentioned here-perhaps you should stay away. There isn't anything visually graphic in this movie, but the dialogue will make you want to gouge your brain out through your ear with a Q-Tip. Proceed with caution, you've been warned.

Big Fish directed by Tim Burton

I really wanted to like this movie more than I did. I am a big Tim Burton fan, but his latest offerings have left me puzzled. Planet of the Apes? More like Planet of the Shit. Sleepy Hollow, while incredibly atmospheric, really could have been a lot better. And the upcoming Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has me worried. But Big Fish looked like it was going to redeem the man. Unfrotunatelay it's a movie that takes the more "mature" approach to the Big Daddy ending. It really wants us to get off the couch and call our dads and profess our love for him. But as is the case for me, it is the little things in it that turned me off to the movie. Let's look at casting. Billy Crudup-quite good as the son who is forced to reevaulate his father and come to terms with hi feelings about him. Albert Finney does a great job as the dad who weaves intricate tales about his life. Jessica Lange is great as the mother, and even the French girl was an interesing choice as the wife of Billy Crudup. So what is my hang up? Ewan MacGregor. A Scottish man doing a Southern accent is almost as bad an idea as Nicolas Cage doing a Southern accent. MacGregor's natural accent pokes through almost immediately and just continued to annoy me throughout. He sounded so much like a bad Matthew McCaughnaey(sp?) that I got confused as to who I was listening to throughout most of the voice overs(and there are many). Burton fills this movie with wonderful images that are really quite enchanting. And this is a good movie-but I felt like this movie was one step away from having an on screen prompt telling you to pull out your phone and call your dad. I don't like my movies telling me what to do, and how to feel. Too much felt forced- it is really easy to come to terms with your father when he is dying-I want to see a movie where someone comes to terms with his dad without anything life threatening prompting him. Overall, I reccommend this movie, but just know that it could have been much better.

Stray Dog directed by Akira Kurosawa.

Now here is a movie. The plot is as basic as it comes-a cop has his gun stolen from him, it is used in a crime, and he tries to track it down. It was interesitng to see Kurosawa use a time period that isn't feudal Japan, bu actually a modern(for the time it was made)Japan. Toshiro Mifune is great as the cop who is desperately running around Tokyo trying to locate his gun. Every scene is filled with such tension, and a lot of desperation. You can see Mifune getting more and more discouraged and worn out throughout the entire movie, and he hardly ever takes the time to stop. Seeing this movie in 2005, I kept waiting for something bigger to happen-for some sort of consipiracy to unravel, but it never did. It never veered off the main plot, even though there were times when it seemed like it could have. And that is a testament to how great a movie Kurasawa has created. That something so simple could be so engaging and so gripping. We only see what the main character sees, so when he sees the culprits in the beginning of the movie, we don't see them again until Mifune sees them, and we are wondering just who exactly it is. Everything is revealed to the audience as it is revealed to Mifune. We are in the dark with him and that is what makes everything so exciting. When he finally catches the culprit, we breathe a sigh of relief right with him. This is a fantastic movie and I reccommend it highly. You wil not be dissappointed.

So I hope you enjoyed my reviews, and I hope my first review doesn't red flag me to the government as some kind of pervert. Don't blame me for the content-blame the twisted mind of Todd Solondz. I think he has some inner demons that the movies he makes helps to wrangle. Here's hoping he works through them. So for everyone here in my apartment, which is just me, I wish everyone a good week. Peace out.

Dave Chappelle is the Funniest Human Being on the Planet!!!

2005-06-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

So on Sunday, I''m poking around the Ticketmaster site, and happen upon Dave Chappelle's name. It's for a Monday show, and I check the tickets-sold out. Then I scroll down a little further and see that there is also a Tuesday night show-so I check the tickets-they are available! So I buy one and call my dad and tell him to pick up a ticket for himself. It takes him a couple hours to get home, and by that time, the tickets have sold out. So now I'm going by myself, but I don't care-because it will be worth it.

Cut to Tuesday night-I'm waiting in line and I'm only 5 people back. I'm hoping to get a front row seat, but as we go in, it turns out I get a seat kind of the to the side-but it turns out it's right on the path where Chappelle is to be walking past at some point in the evening. I'm waiting for the show to start, and just looking around the club, which is small-there isn't a bad seat in the whole place. From where I'm sitting, I'm about 15 feet from the stage. I'm looking around and happen to see comedian Doug Benson standing to my right. I assume he's just there to watch, but it turns out he's the opener. He was pretty funny. Mostly stoner jokes, with a few good hooker jokes thrown in. His funniest bit was him looking over his list of jokes that he is going to tell and telling us that he has a good one coming up, so we have that to look forward to. His delivery made it funny. So he does about 20/25 mnutes and he introduces Chappelle. Chappelle walks right past me, smoking a cigarette, and heads up to the stage. He proceeds to do a great hour of solid comedy. It's clear that he's not working from a pre made list of jokes. He's just saying whatever comes into his head. He had a lot to say about his current situation, and why he pretty much quit Hollywood. He's fed up with the lies, the deceiving, and the bullshit that goes with it. He is hilarious from the moment he gets on stage, to the moment that he walks off. Dave Chappelle is the funniest man on the planet. He is so smart, and so quick that he doesn't need jokes-he just talks and everything he says is hilarious. So as he's winding down he starts talking about how there are so few "major" players out there who take the time, or have the discipline to hit the road and go out on stage. He then tells us that Chris Tucker is here, and he wants to do some material for us.

I always had the notion that Chris Tucker was an asshole and a jerk. Turns out I was wrong, Chris Tucker is hilarious, and a genuienly nice guy. His Michael Jackson impression is great. He can talk, sing, and dance just like the King of Pop. It turns out he is friends with him and had a lot of good insight into the man. He was completely honest with the crowd, telling them about his struggles, and why he isn't doing any more movies lately. He's just looking for a good script. He asked the crowd whether or not he should make another Rush Hour, or another Friday-since that what everyone is hounding him for. The crowd was behind him, and very surprised to be in the presence of such a well known movie star. As he exited the stage, I threw my hand out and he shook it-so that's always exciting. Dave Chappelle came back on the stage and said thanks to the crowd and thanks to Chris Tucker. Then he looked at his watch.

He looked at his watch, and then at the crowd, and said that he had nowhere else to go, and nothing else to do-and the then proceeded to do another hour or so of completely improvised comedy. He was just asking the crowd what we wanted to have him talk about, and whatever people said, he had good bits of hilarity for them. An especially hilarious thing he kept doing throughout the evening was whenever he said anything funny, he would bang the mike on his knee, a stool, whatever was close. You could tell he was having a good time and completely in his element. He was as open as any person could be to the crowd. He told us a story about getting a blowjob from a girl wearing a motorcycle helmet, and when he was wrapping up, he banged his elbow on the helmet. Genius. He also told us about the Tony Danza-where you nail a girl from behind, and when you're just about done, you punch her in the back of head and tell her-Who's the Boss?!? Hilarious. He had a great bit on hearing someone take a gross shit in the bathroom and waiting around to find out who it was. Great stuff. All in all Dave was a totally honest and hilarious comedian who didn't want to stop talking, but had to because the club had to close. As he walked off the stage the second time, the crowd gave him a standing ovation. He walked past me, and again, I threw out my hand and he shook it and I gave him a pat on the back. A great end to a great evening. It was the best comedy show I've ever been to, and will probably ever go to.

Random Review of the Week(6/20)

2005-06-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

This is a new column that I'm going to be starting right now. I will try to make it weekly, but if it veers from that, oh well. In it, I will be reviewing a random movie, a random CD, and that's pretty much it. The only requisite for it is that I need to have had some contact with it within the week of review. Without further ado, on to the review

This week, I will be reviewing:

The Usual Suspects

The Usual Suspects holds a special place in my heart, and I believe it always will. When I first saw this movie, I was only 13 years old, and this was the first movie that I saw that made me realize how much I love movies. The moment this movie started to the second Kevin Spacey says, "And like that-He's gone." I was in a trance. The way this movie reveals information to the audience is remarkable. Nothing is left to chance, nothing is out of place. Every camera angle, every line of dialogue is carefully scripted to build up to those last few minutes. A lesser movie would have realized it had itself backed into a corner and thrown together an ending. The ending we think we are getting when Agent Kuljan says that Keaton was Keyser Soze is the lesser movies ending. Had we ended there, it might have made sense, but we wouldn't have felt that pay off. It shows us some scenes of Keaton perhaps being Soze, but a lot of these are not shots from the movie, just forced shots of Keaton because Kuljan is forcing this ending. He wants it so desperately to be true, and for the moment, we buy it. But it is the moments after this, when Verbal leaves the office, that this movie becomes a classic. When Kuljan starts going over things in his mind, and then noticing the wall of lies that Verbal has built, we are never shown any forced shots, because there is no need for them. Upon watching this movie again, everything is in Spacey's performance. You can see him reading everything and building his story up. The most telling moment in the movie, to me, is when Kuljan is going off about how Keaton was the mastermind and Keaton did this, and Keaton did that, and all we see is Spacey's face and the smile and nods that he does show us a man who is thrilled that this idiot cop is buying everything he is saying. And as soon as Kuljan comes into shot, Verbal's face tightens up like he is learning something new for the first time. He is playing everyone like a fiddle from the moment you see him to the very last frame. And we all buy it.

And it isn't just Spacey who is mesmerizing in this movie, but literally every character that says anything in this movie is fantastic. All of the suspects are perfect in their part, forming an odd family of ciminals. Even Stephen Baldwin, who is pretty much shit in everything else he has ever done, is fantastic. And Benicio del Toro will flip you for real in this movie. This was the first part I ever saw him play, and it is so different from everything else he has ever done. But following his career, most roles of him are different from each other. He refuses to be type cast and continues to do phenomonal jobs in everything he is in. Dan Hedaya also does a good job, and I believe he should do more dramatic work. While I love his dad in Clueless, it is great to see him in roles like this, and even in Mulholland Dr. where he just scares the hell out of me for th 5 minutes he's in the movie.

The Usual Suspects is that rare crime film that manages to be complex, but never buckles under the weight of what is trying to do. If not everything about the movie was perfect, it could have easily collapsed towards the end and turned into just another forgettable crime movie(Christopher McQuarrie's Way of the Gun comes to mind). Bryan Singer knew exactly what he wanted out of this movie, and he got just that. A perfect cast, a perfect script, perfet cinematography, perfect editing, perfect music. This is the kind of crime movie that every other crime movie after it must be compared to. And The Usual Suspects has set the bar so high, that few movies will be able to come close to the genius of it, but I look forward to the ones that do.

Batman Begins: The Review

2005-06-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was up in the city anxiously waiting for a Rilo Kiley concert that was to start later that evening. I got up there around noon and realized that I had 9 hours that had to be killed until the show started. I wandered over to the Metreon, where Batman was playing in IMAX format. That had to be cool. So I went in and bought my 15 dollar ticket to see Batman on 70mm film on a gigantic screen with 12,000 watts of sound. But that didn't start until 3:30. After wandering for a couple of hours, I went back to the Metreon where I was accosed by a Mexican guy who started saying to me: "Hey, you're a wearing a Batman shirt, you must be seeing Batman." Now I've come to realize, that there are certain types of people who feel it is their responsibility to comment on everything and everyone. I'm the kind of person who can see something, such as a guy wearing a Batman shirt, and going to see Batman, and just let it go. Not this guy, he had other plans. But once I passed that little obstacle, I went upstairs and waited in line. I was behind these two guys, and one went off to buy some popcorn and came back and immediately started telling his friend the story of his popcorn purchase. He feels a great injustice has been done because the popcorn is so expensive, and he questions the freshness of it. He said that he complained to the person and they guaranteed it was fresh. He didn't believe it. But still he paid for the popcorn and returned and happily ate the whole bag before the line even started moving. But my question to this man is this: Have you not been to the movies in the last 10 years, and especially in San Francisco? Everything is expensive. Deal with it. You're not the first guy to realize that shit is overpriced, so don't make it out to be some huge revelation. But eventually we started moving and as we got into the theater, I sat in awe at the giant IMAX screen. I was excited.

At 3:30 on the dot the movie began with a quick little ad about the greatness of IMAX. Now after watching the entire movie, I realized that seeing a regular film on IMAX is not impressive. Aside from loud as hell gunshots that made everyone in the theater jump, it isn't much different from your standard 35mm film. Was it worth 15 bucks to see it on a huge screen? No, not at all. Go see this movie at a standard theater and save yourself the 5 extra bucks. And now, onto the movie itself(finally huh?)

Without the benefits of previews to ease you into the movie, this one started rather abruptly. It covered the Bruce Wayne childhood very quickly, moving us into current(?) day where Bruce Wayne was a prisoner in a foreign jail. He beats up some guys and then Liam Neeson approaches him about joining the League of Shadows, a group of ninjas who make it their personal responsibility to ensure that people live happily ever after, by any means necessary. Bruce trains, confronts his past, then to show that he is different from these guys and better than them because he doesn't have to kill bad people, he burns down their temple and kills them because he thinks they are bad people(they have plotted to destroy Gotham to save it from itself). However he saves Liam Neeson who has trained him up to this point. Now we finally get back to Bruce Wayne's return to Gotham City. This is where I'm going to stop just retelling the plot to you because anymore would spoil this movie.

The good: This movie is full of great dialogue, and it didn't feel forced like other comic book movies. Now, I've only seen previews for Fantastic Four, but that is a movie that is going to be full of bad, forced dialogue. Christopher Nolan has a touch for natural sounding conversation, especially when dealing with heavy handed, moralistic conversations that only people in movies have. The dialogue shines, even when being said by Katie Holmes(who I'll get to in the bad sectoin). Christian Bale as Batman was a fantastic casting choice. He has already shown that he can play that cold, callous rich person in American Psycho, and this is a good extension of that. Batman fights the bad people because he wants to save people from them, while his Patrick Bateman character killed the people he thought less of out of anger and hatred towards them not being able to help themselves. Interesting parallels could be drawn between these two characters and it is my guess that his role in American Psycho directly contributed to his casting as Batman, because it sure as hell wasn't his role in Newsies(or Reign of Fire)that did it. Overall, the cast in this movie is spot on. Michael Caine is a bit too high profile to play Alfred, Michael Gough was the perfect Alfred. But Michael Caine does a good job and really shows how much he cares about Bruce Wayne and the whole Wayne legacy. Morgan Freeman does his usual good job, even when not given too much to work with. He's pretty much relegated to a Q like character who only serves to give Batman whatever new technology he needs. Gary Oldman does a fantastic job as a not crazy guy. I didn't know he had it in him. His Gordon is great and it is interesting to see how the Batman/Gordon relationship started and why they both can trust each other so much. I think more people should cast Oldman as a regular guy because he's done the crazy thing so much that it is really interesting to see him in such a subdued role.

The villains in this movie are also excellent around the board. Liam Neeson here being the standout. (sorry, is that a spoiler? oh well, I don't think anyone is ever going to read this anyway) The villains in the older Batman movies have all been extremely over the top, but in the first two it was within the boundaries of their characters, but in Begins, Liam Neeson plays a very calm and driven villain who uses subtlety over sheer craziness. Cillian Murphy on the other hand plays a very crazy Scarecrow who uses a drug to induce panic in people. To shield himself from the effect he wears a crazy looking burlap sack over his head. It is his scenes that are the most surreal and frightening in the entire movie. The scene between him and Batman is sure to scare the hell out of any kid whose parents were dumb enough to take them to a PG-13 movie. The mob boss guy was suitably mob boss like. He gives a decent speech about how he uses fear to control the city, but it's been told before countless times in countless other movies. Overall the villains are very well rounded and seem much more believable in this world than a Mr. Freeze does(this is just used as a bash to Batman and Robin, which I think will never ever be watched by another human being from here on out.)

Now onto the bad: Katie Holmes. I know we should be able to detach her as an actress and her in her normal life, but given the recent "news" about her and Tom Cruise(TomKat anyone?) it's hard to not be pissed off by her presence in this movie. But that could have been easily forgiven if she was good, but unfortunately she isn't. Granted, she has to deliver most of the moralistic speeches that must be difficult to have to spit out due to their nature. But she is a woman that has no sympathy at all for Bruce Wayne until she finds out he is Batman.(sorry for that other spoiler, but it's pretty obvious that she's going to figure it out) And she is just so goddamn goofy looking throughout most of the movie-half of her face seems to be normal, and the other half just seems to sag to one side. It's very strange. But she does wear a white satin shirt on a cold day at the end of the movie. You know right where that's headed.

My other complaint was in the action. It was generally very good, but a lot of the one on one fights used such quick close up cuts that it was difficult to figure out just what was going on sometimes. When he fights the prisoners at the beginning of the film, I didn't even realize he was kicking ass, I thought it looked pretty even. Now I don't know if that's just the IMAX doing that, but it was very distracting. Luckily it fixes that in spots, and once he becomes Batman, it becomes a little easier to tell who is doing what because he is the guy in the costume.

Luckily the weaker elements of the film are never terribly distracting and we are left with a great Batman which has lots of promise for the future franchise(I wonder who they were dropping hints about at the end there?) Let's hope that Christopher Nolan decides to stay with this franchise because he brings great visual style, and a great ear for dialogue to a series that was in dire need of both. Let us now leave the Joel Schumacher Batman's behind us and lok ahead to the Christopher Nolan Batman.

Rating: 9.1/10 (This was a great film, but there is still room to improve to make these even better, and if anyone can do it, it is Christopher Nolan)

Rilo Kiley Live(6/18)

2005-06-19T02:08:00.000-07:00

I just walked in the door after my drive home from the city. I figured, the show is still fresh in my mind, so let's write up a little something about it. First of all, I was a bit weary to go to a show by myself, after all, I'm used to having at least one other person to talk to throughout the course of a show. And second of all, well, I guess there is no second of all. Seeing the show by myself was my only real concern. But that didn't turn out to be too bad because I just secured myself a seat up top and kicked back until the show started. Some drunk lawyer started talking to me at one point between acts and he wasn't interesing at all. He was going into great detail about San Francisco's water supply. I stopped paying attention pretty fast. But now, onto the concert itself.

The first opener, The Brunettes, were actually very good. They had tons of hand clapping, and snapping, and all kinds of percussion equipment. I can't remember a single song they did, except the first one, where they spelled baby, but they were overall quite good. I usually expect openers to be shitty, so the fact that they weren't was good news.

The second opener, Feist(sp?) was not as good. Now, she had a great voice, and it takes a lot of talent to play all by yourself, but it was just kind of boring. Maybe if she had a whole band it would have been better, but as it was, I just wanted her to stop playing so Rilo Kiley would come out.

And come out they did. As soon as they walked out, they owned that stage. They opened with It's a Hit and that's not my favorite song of theirs, but they did a good job with it. The trumpet player from The Brunettes did a fantastic job on his part, and all the parts he did throughout the evening. Now from here on out, I'm going to lose track of the order of songs, so deal with it. They played Portion for Foxes, which is also not one of my favorite songs. Sure, it's damn catchy, but I feel they have much better songs. But they killed this song. It was fantastic how much energy they put into it and pretty much the entire show. The Execution of All Things was a show highlight for me, as that is one of my favorite songs of theirs. It was great singing along to that one and watching Jenny play the bass as well, it was all very cool. They also did a great job on So Long, which live is very neat because it brings out Jenny's background vocals and turns it into more of a duet. Now I was hoping for Science vs. Romance and Pictures of Success, but tonight I had to make due with only PoS. They did an amazing job with that too. Other songs were played, and they were all played well. I really enjoyed the final number with everyone out on stage singing and banging some kind of piece of percussion.

My final impression of the show was just one of complete bliss. Rilo Kiley is such a solid band and they put so much energy into their roughly 90 minute set. Jenny is a beautiful woman with such great stage presence, and it'll be interesting to see her hit the road for her solo stuff. The whole band in general plays very well together and you can tell they are having fun. I would see them again in a heartbeat(and since they are opening for Coldplay, I'll probably go to that).
Edit: Turns out they are only opening for them for their Midwest and East Coast dates, not the West Coast. Oh well-what are you gonna do?

Bottom Line: Rilo Kiley live gets an A+ from me. Go see them. You won't regret it.

Album of the Week (6/13)

2005-06-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

The White Stripes, Get Behind Me Satan

The White Stripes have decided to bless us with a new album. After my first listen to Elephant, my immediate reaction was, damn-I can't wait for them to come out with new material. And now that new material is upon us. Now before I get into the actual review, let me give you a little Matt Lemos/White Stripes history lesson.

The White Stripes are a band I got into by complete accident. White Blood Cells was on sale at Virgin Megastore in SF for 10 bucks, and I had heard good things about them, so I picked it up. I've been a fan ever since. Every album of theirs is completely different from the one before it, yet you can tell they are all coming from the same band, but a band that is actually growing and not just trying to copy their past successes. Fell in Love With a Girl is probably their biggest hit, but it's the only song that really sounds like that song. Where other bands would try and copy what made that song succesful(see Coldplay, and Beck, unfortunately)the White Stripes build off of it and move in new directions. Hypnotize on Elephant is probably the closest song to FILWAG, but is still completely seperate from that. The White Stripes are constantly trying to outdo themselves and make each new album of theirs truly unique. Which brings us to Get Behind me Satan.

Upon my first listen to this album, I was mildly disappointed. Granted, I was doing dishes and cooking dinner, so I wasn't really paying attention to it, but still, it didn't jump out and grab me by the throat immediately like their other albums had. But upon listening to it a few more times, I realized I was listening to another great Stripes album. Blue Orchid is a good opener, but it isn't as strong an opener as Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground, or even Seven Nation Army. Both of these songs did a great job at establishing the mood, and the musical style of each of these albums, but Blue Orchid doesn't even hint at the styles that the Stripes play around with on Satan.

Get Behind Me Satan is easily their most musically diverse album to date, ranging in styles from blues, to folk, to just straight rock and roll. To me, My Doorbell is the highlight of the album. There's something about Jack White kicking into the first verse that puts a huge smile on my face. Red Rain, the hardest rocking song on the album, has such a great guitar riff that it will get stuck in your head and never leave.

Unfortunately, this album is not without its faults. Cold, Cold Night on Elephant was a great song for Meg White to sing, and she did a passable job on it. In concert, she was sexy as hell singing it and that really added to the track for me. But Passive Manipulation just doesn't have that spark to it. It's entirely too short for anything noteworthy to happen, and it just seems out of place on this album. Little Ghost, which is most reminiscent of Jack's work on the Cold Mountain soundtrack, is also a weak effort. While it is still a good song, it just doesn't feel like a White Stripes song.

Overall, this is a solid addition to the White Stripes albums. And just like after listening to Elephant, after hearing this, I cannot wait to hear what they do next.

I Hate Rolling Stone Magazine

2005-06-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, when I rented a little apartment by myself, I got lonely. It wasn't so much in a social sense, I had my friends around, it was more in a mail sense. See, when you live alone and aren't very popular, the only mail you get is junk mail and the occasional bill. I had to do something to remedy this situation, and the only way to do that was to subscribe to a magazine. Playboy was out because I didn't want to be one of the single guys, who live in an apartment by himself and reads nothing but Playboy magazine. Plus, it only comes once a month, and I wanted more than that. The magazine I turned to to fill my mail void was Rolling Stone magazine. It was 20 bucks for a 2 year subscription, so even if after a month I stopped caring about the magazine, I was only out 20 dollars. And it comes every 2 weeks, so I'd have something special in the mail pretty frequently. So even if no one else liked me, I knew the subscription department of Rolling Stone would never stop liking me(assuming I paid them the necessary money)

Now in the past, Rolling Stone magazine used to be relevant. When it first started, music was important as a vehicle for social change. John Lennon appeared on the very first cover of the magazine, and he was discussing the Vietnam War. It used to mean something when you appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone, it meant your band had acheieved a status beyond record sales, and popularity. It meant you were a good band who deserved national recognition. Now that cover spot is filled by any would be pop-star or over pretenious rock star. If I see Bono or Britney Spears on the cover again, I'm going to tear the cover right off! My point is, Rolling Stone, like so many things before it, has sold out and has forgotten that it used to stand for something. I don't think it will ever realize that and we are going to be doomed to see every worthless celebrity parade themselves out on the cover to try and show people how hip they really are.

But this is not why I hate the magazine. The cover is a nuisance, but it could be forgiven if the contents of the magazine were worthwhile. Unfortunately, the music reviewing group over at Rolling Stone have no idea how to review music of any kind and continually drive me crazy with their terrible reviews. The latest example comes from their review of the new White Stripes album, Get Behind Me Satan. Now the album is good, and they give it 4 and 1/2 stars, but after reading the review I felt like I had just lost all my brain cells. The last line of the review says something along of the lines of, "Satan, you just got served." Now it is my opinion that a music review should be timeless. Someone should be able to read in any time period and immediately understand what is being said. Now if the album itself is not timeless, and just a boring, crappy album, then that is no the fault of the reviewer. But when you actually use shitty slang to review an album that has no connection to being served at all, then it is sloppy, lazy writing and it makes me hate your magazine and never want to read it again.

There are a lot of things I can forgive Rolling Stone for. I can forgive them that half of their magazine is US weekly tabloid bullshit, I can forgive them that they devote articles to shitty popstars because that is what people like. But I cannot forgive them for their sub-par review department. They have changed reviews in the past(dropping albums that they gave 5 stars to in print, down to 4 and 1/2 stars or lower in their music guide[examples of this are White Stripes-Elephant, Beck-Sea Change, Beastie Boys-To the 5 Buroughs]). If they can't stand by their original review, then they have no business publishing that review.
This is something that I've wanted to get off of my chest for some time now, and unless you've been around me when I'm drunk, this is all new to you. I hate Rolling Stone magazine and I vow to never again purchase another issue of their magazine for as long as I live. Now, who's with me?